Are you a failure?
The difference between success and failure is attention. Failure is defined in www.freedictionary.com as a number of things, one of which is “the condition or fact of not achieving the desired end or ends”. This to me is counter-intuitive. As people, we are constantly changing and, as we change, our desires and goals change. Not changing would be not adapting, and how could that be defined as success? Success, in turn is hardly a positive term if we see it as the absence of failure, or the achieving of goals that are no longer relevant, so I thought about it a bit...
Read MoreNew Year, New Choices
I’m not a fan of NY’s resolutions – I feel like it sets myself up for failure, not to mention highlighting all the things that I want to change about myself or my circumstances. Then I thought about it in a moment of reflection and realised that’s what I’m doing anyway. I’ve been pushing myself to do so much in the last 6 months. I had to. Things needed to be done, and I needed something to keep me busy for a while to distract myself from grieving. Then almost before I knew it, I was trying to keep my business running while we sorted out my mom’s...
Read More5 Traumatic Lessons
I’ve been very quiet lately in the virtual world. The last few months have been absolute mayhem, with my mom dying, dealing with police investigations, newspapers, estate stuff (I’m an only child), renovating and moving house. For the last 5 months, I have been running on adrenaline and it hit me the other day when I realised, in a fit of backlogged emotional outbursts, that I have not allowed myself any time to really process this all. I have neglected my self-nurturing, and part of that is blogging. If I were to coach myself as though I were a totally new...
Read MoreWhy you don’t want an(other) expert helping you to conceive
You have experts in all spheres – you have doctors controlling your cycle, and nurses giving you medication. You have nutritionists telling you what to eat, even trainers telling you how to move. This is a great way to achieve an outcome, except that fertility is more than an outcome – it was meant to be personal. When you need outside help, it is sometimes really really difficult to have your voice heard when you’re being told what to do all the time by experts. Who is the expert in coaching? I’m a trained Life Coach, hypnotherapist and NLP...
Read MoreSense of balance
Fertility challenges bring with them many contradictions, including The incredible stress that it puts you under, vs the need for you to nurture yourself and keep calm; The pressure on your relationship (and lowered libido from the stress) vs the need for support; and The need for intimacy vs the controlling of your sex life. Fertility challenges also demand from us a single-mindedness to process all the information, and deal with all the medication, doctors and things that overwhelm us and at the same time create a great need for a sense of balance. So, how do you even begin...
Read MoreWhy buy the cow
I had a conversation a little earlier today, where I was asked whether or not I thought I’d lose business as a fertility coach if I blog about all the useful stuff that I know. It’s a fair enough question – one that I’m sure other people wonder about, so I thought I’d answer it here. Great coaching is transformative Tips and information are helpful for people who need to understand that they are not alone and, while beneficial, it is not even close to covering what I do as a coach. My blog is,because of the media type, pretty transactional (i.e....
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