New Year, New Choices

I’m not a fan of NY’s resolutions – I feel like it sets myself up for failure, not to mention highlighting all the things that I want to change about myself or my circumstances.

Then I thought about it in a moment of reflection and realised that’s what I’m doing anyway. I’ve been pushing myself to do so much in the last 6 months. I had to. Things needed to be done, and I needed something to keep me busy for a while to distract myself from grieving. Then almost before I knew it, I was trying to keep my business running while we sorted out my mom’s estate, renovated her house, found a tenant for our place, moved home, and prepped for Christmas.

If I look at the last few months, I’ve found a solid sense of power in myself. I have realised that I’m capable of achieving what I thought was impossible. It’s been a difficult learning period, and it’s still not easy, but I have realised that I can choose certain aspects, and control others, and those that I can’t control, I can accept or move past.

So this year my resolution is to be kind to myself. I am not going to push myself to achieve, because the end goal (for now) is not worth compromising my sense of balance. I am going to allow myself the space I need without pressuring myself to be productive, and I am finding that when I allow myself time to be creative, I end up being productive and actually increasing my mental energy and sense of wellbeing.

This phenomenon reminds me of the concept of the tyranny of the urgent – we override our internal needs to achieve what we think is important, and end up spending our precious time stressing about doing what we think we “SHOULD”, rather than doing what we need to. And, as anyone who has ever bene in this situation knows, when you take time out for yourself, you will be able to fit the urgent in much easier than when trying to do things the other way.

So, this year, I’m going to be kind to myself. I am going to remember to prioritise the things that are good for my soul and indulge myself in the all-elusive “me-time”. I will chase inspiration with vigour this year and if my goals need to wait a little longer, that’ll do fine, because all will be well with my soul.

What do you want from this year?